Lockdown Diary of Theresa Smith - Part 2

Lockdown Diary of Theresa Smith, Clerical Officer (logistics).

Day 23   -    DC phoned 999 but they said theft of toilet paper from our shed wasn't an emergency.  So I took my phone and called that other number and insisted they must investigate the burglary.  I was called a hoarder and accused of wasting police time! I mean!  Really!!  We pay our taxes and I've always supported the police.  And to cap it all the sodding mould has spread to the wall by the stairs and we're not allowed to go to B and Q for anti-mould spray and anyway Hilary over the back says they're closed.  At least Boris is out of hospital.  Maybe he can sort the police out.

Day 27   -   Clapping for the NHS on our doorstep is a good thing, we did that last night. Heard the neighbour banging pots or something but we couldn't see him because HE STILL HASN'T CUT THE SODDING HEDGE!  It's not as if he's got anything else to do, he was laid off a month ago. DC called him a name, but quite quietly so I don't think he'll have heard it over all his banging...

Day 29  -  I have heard that people aren't just clapping for the NHS but for all essential services. And that includes supermarket workers, so I may not bother next week. Our sodding Tesco delivery was 3 days late and had NO toilet paper, no cake flour and no oranges, garlic granules or custard powder. I can't remember what I was going to bake with that lot, so maybe it doesn't matter, apart from the toilet paper. We're down to 37 rolls, I've hidden some of them in the laundry basket, underneath some towels and the rest in the tumble dryer, that should fool the sodding burglars! I now have to put up the rotary thing in the garden to dry the washing, but at least the weather is warmer than when all this started.

Day 30  -  I'm so embarrassed! DC has just told me what sodding means... I thought it meant muddy, or messy. I suppose it does in a way. Oh dear. 

Ultracrepidarian - Word of the Day

An Ultracrepidarian is someone who expresses firm opinions on subjects which are quite outside their field of knowledge. 

Now who could I be thinking of?

And yes I had to look it up! No shame in that, the word is now within my field of knowledge.

The Fairweather Gardener - April under Covid 19

Heather, tulips, muscari and, fritillaries.

April in the garden, under semi-lockdown.  I do know how lucky we are to have a garden when so many are stuck in flats.  Sitting out here writing is splendid! Everything seems to be flowering, so that and the sunshine has dragged me outdoors.  The Heather has been in bloom since November and is going a bit brown, but several small bumblebees are still finding something to enjoy in its tiny, faded-pink cups.


 The little Tete-a-tete daffs are over.  I’ve just deadheaded them, but the taller
Daffs and Narcissi which I bunged in the earth any-old-where last winter are flowering merrily, most of them seem to be multi-petalled ones and some are two-tone as well, orange and cream or sunflower yellow and white.  Never had those before, they’re very pretty, but heavy heads are dangling on over-long stems. It the prevailing sea-wind gets up it will demolish them.  Life’s too short to stake daffs!



Also flowering are things I had assumed would be dead, having done well last year.  Osteospermums I think they’re called.  Looked them up – Cape Daisies, that’s easier!  They were a birthday present from Josie and it never occurred me that they could carry on, but they’ve hardly stopped flowering since. Should I prune them?  Some are reddish-purple with black centres, others are quite pale, with pretty mauve edges and, again, the back centres.

Rosemary

A small blue tit is serenading from the tree behind my bench, but I don’t think I’m the object of his song!  Amazing what loud song some tiny birds have.  Also have chattering sparrows in the semi-background – sparrows are not really background birds, they seldom blend!  Starlings chirping and whistling from the gutter and a pair of pigeons being enthusiastic with each other on the neighbour’s mossy roof.



Rosemary still has its soft mauve flowers, to the joy of small bees.  Grape Hyacinths (muscari to you!) are everywhere, I put quite a few of them in last autumn, may have overdone it, their leaves apparently grow up to 18 inches long - I nearly measured them, managed to restrain myself!  Like the Snowflakes, which are finished, their foliage is swamping other plants.  I’ve been trimming both of them quite brutally.

Kerria

The red Wallflowers which I nearly threw away last year are now blooming a beautiful fiery scarlet, next to the sunny faces of Dandelion and no they are not weeds, I love them! So do the bees. Marigolds, in marigold orange, are starting to put in their annual appearance and  my Bluebells are up, mostly the Spanish variety but still gorgeous.  Fritillaries with their extraordinary checkered flowers are almost over, the bumblebees have been enjoying those too.



Planted a lot of Tulips last autumn in a trough, after watching Monty Don, who said plant them in layers, the don’t mind being crowded.  They’re coming up now but don’t seem keen to put on a mass display, which is what I was hoping for, some are already open while others are barely above soil level.



Kerria Japonica has been in bloom for several weeks now, very pretty in hues of apricot and above it the Clematis Montana is absolutely smothered in buds as it in turn smothers the garage, so I’ll get my mass flowering there!  After it’s flowered I will have to prune it or we’ll never get the garage doors open.

Camellia and forsythia

Round the front of the house, the rich pink Camellia is past its best.  Its massed flowers are going softly brown and papery now, but the Forsythia is quite splendid.  Beside those two the Skimmia Japonica is palely loitering.  I have a Mahonia in a pot, I might plant it next to the Skimmia for a bit of colour and drama



On the patio right up against the house, various things have been rammed into pots sometimes with strange bedfellows.  Cyclamen in their little pots are almost over, big, rotund seed-heads are forming, I must try to propagate some of those.  In flower are more tulips, scarlet geraniums which have almost kept flowering continuously for three years now, more Cape Daisies, more Fritillaries,  who share a large blue tub with a huge, self-seeded Foxglove, we’ll see what colour that flowers later.

Finally and unexpectedly, I have a pink and paler-pink-striped Freesia and a white Freesia is about to bloom, which I had entirely forgotten I shoved into the pot with one of the perpetual geraniums two years ago.  I had a bunch of Freesias for my wedding posy – I don’t do bouquets!



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Lockdown Diary of Theresa Smith - Part One

Lockdown Diary of Theresa Smith, Clerical Officer (logistics).


Day one – The freezer is full so we won’t starve and there are 40 packs of toilet rolls in the shed. We're prepared for all emergencies. I’ve got lots of stuff planned so we won’t get bored either. Old fashioned spring-cleaning for starters. This won’t be too bad, we get along tolerably well and DC can still make me laugh. He has ordered some Scotch Beef to be delivered, from Scotland. He says it won’t come for a fortnight so we’ll have space in the freezer by then. Not sure if this is hygienic.


Day two – Boris has announced that this will go on until after Easter, which is only 3 weeks so no problem. It’s not as if either of us are missing work.  DC’s freelance and mainly can work from home. I was thinking of going part time and now the office has closed entirely. Nobody needs our filing cabinet and telephone sanitising services apparently, which seems ridiculous at a time like this. But maybe this is a good test for full retirement. Cleaned all the windows.


Day four – Decided not to write every day. Shampooed all the carpets. Had to leave all the windows open to let them dry, luckily it's been sunny, although the wind is cold. DC said why not do one room a day rather than all of them at once, but having finally got the machine to work I decided to get it over with. Machine very noisy, I think I’ve gone a bit deaf. Still it’s done now. Son in London phoned, couldn’t hear a word. DC spoke to him.



Day 5 – Boris has announced that social distancing should be two metres not the previous four feet, which is puzzling. DC says why can’t they at least stick to using the same units of measurement and shouldn’t it all be in feet, since Brexit.  Still, we have other problems. The neighbour's hedge is starting to block the light in our front window, I had to sit in the dining room to read my paper.  Tesco delivery, we’ve had a regular Tuesday slot for the past two years, but it’s Wednesday today, I call that a disgrace! At least the order’s mostly right but no toilet paper, no spuds, and instead of broccoli they’ve given us turnips! Never cooked turnips in my life, maybe try them tomorrow. Carpets still a bit wet in places.


Day 7 – Trump says it’s all under control in the States although the news says 1,000 cases just in New York. At least Boris is distancing with his news conferences. The journalists are spaced out now and Nadine Doris has caught it, she’s nowhere to be seen. Wonder if she infected anyone. We tried the turnips, I boiled them and boiled them but they were just sour and fibrous, a bit like eating tree roots. Think my hearing‘s more or less come back, but the house is still a bit damp.


Day 9 – DC decided to make the heating more efficient by bleeding all the radiators.  This black gunge sprayed out and went everywhere including into DC’s face.  I had to laugh but now I need to clean the living room carpet again, and the window and the wall.  Son in London phoned, his place of work has closed down, at least he can stop going on the crowded tube, breathing in all those viruses.


Day 12 – Tesco delivery. Only half of the right things came, still no toilet paper or potatoes. Also, instead of 4 tins of baked beans they sent one tin of bortolli beans, no idea what those are, and they sent more bloody turnips! I can’t get through to complain. Our daily walk takes us past some horses in a field, I might see if they like turnips. DC is trying his hand at some cooking, maybe he can do something with those beans. There’s some mould in the corner of our bedroom. Tried it with bleach and now the carpet’s stained. Bother!


Day 13 – Boris has caught it! If he dies, who takes over? Gove sounds the most sensible. I hope it’s not that Cummings, he looks so weasley and he wants to sacrifice the pensioners.  Have finished all the spring cleaning now, even cleaned the oven, not very well but will have to do. Not sure what to do next.  DC has taken over the cooking since his work has dried up and it’s too cold to start on the garden.  We had mashed turnips with sausages, not too bad with enough ketchup, but will need more of that soon, wonder what Tesco will send instead.


Day 19 – The Scotch Beef may arrive today. DC says he can track it online. Apparently our driver is called Nikolai and he has 397 deliveries before he gets to us. I know it’s a long way from Scotland to the South Coast, but that’s going to take him until next week! I wonder where he sleeps.

Day 22 – Disaster! The shed was broken into while we were out on our walk, DC said the buggers must have been lurking behind next door’s hedge waiting for us to go out. DC’s asked next door before to cut his hedge but he's not bothered.  The buggers left the Flymo, and son’s mountain bike, but they took ALL OUR TOILET ROLLS!  Now we’ve only got the 15 packs stored under son’s bed.