Lulabelle and the Scathing Fowel –from the Scarfolk folks’ daily archive.
Lulabelle Scathing, age seven-ish (exact DOB unknown), is a child
prodigy. In her early youth she bioengineered her pet woodlouse, Crunchy, into
a fully grown armadillo. However her mother, Arachnia Featherstone Ambling
Chough-Smythe, has wisely guided her into more lucrative pursuits, since there
is no market for armadillos in Scarfolk County.
Lulabelle is now a very young, though fully qualified geneticist and bioengineer,
working on the genetic modification of her pet chickens to create larger,
semi-predatory birds. In the absence of wolves and sabretooth cats which have
not been seen for many years, Lulabelle’s chooks will be safely released into
Scarfolk Forest to help to reduce the numbers of deer, woodpeckers,
beavers, charcoal-burners, lumber-jacks and other vermin that damages the
trees.
Lulabelle’s chickens have been named Scathing Fowel, as a
tribute to her father, wee Dougie Scathing, who vanished immediately after his
daughter’s conception. Her mother, Arachnia, had declined to take Wee Dougie’s
surname, as she felt her own name already included four of her other seven
former-husbands/partners and to add another would be cumbersome. Each of her eight
children carried their father’s name and that was memorial enough.
The photograph is Lulabelle's favourite, named Cockatrice, he is exploring the bottom of the garden. He will be father of the next generation of Scathing Fowel.
Once a sustainable population of Scathing Fowel has been established in Scarfolk Forest, Arachnia’s idea is to issue hunting licences to carefully selected gentlefolk, enabling them to shoot a prescribed number of Scathing fowel. As the fowel will be the top predator in the forest, their numbers will need to kept in balance or, having eaten everything else they would start on each other.
Only trained markspersons will be allowed to hunt for Scathing
Fowel as the birds become excessively dangerous when wounded and can take an
adult human’s arm or head off with one bite. However less qualified persons may
be employed as beaters or bait.
Arachnia has not yet broached the hunting idea with her
daughter, as Lulabelle is inclined to being sentimental about her ferocious
feathered fowel. And nobody would ever dare to suggest to Lulabelle that she has
not spelled fowel correctly. For a start she is only seven and spelling is not
her best subject, also she would set Cockatrice on any
dissenters.
