In view of that fact, my garage is also for sale.
It can be yours for a mere £100,000.
This period property has brick walls,
an almost leak free tiled roof, azure
painted double doors and an enormous clematis,
which climbs over the roof and enters under the tiles,
fills the loft space and encourages
huge spiders and other sustainable wildlife.
Pith helmet and machete not supplied.
Sale does include:-
a 37 year old road bike (tyres shot),
17 loudspeakers of varying vintages,
11 bits of carpet - random colours,
3 lino off-cuts - fake tile effect,
1 rusty wheelbarrow,
2 tea-chests full of old paperbacks
which never quite got unpacked when we moved in,
113 random bits of timber that might be useful,
2 broken bookcases - hence the books in tea-chests,
370 black plastic flowerpots, various sizes, snails included,
1 box full of cables and other useful bits of vintage wire - needs unravelling,
13 cans of nearly finished paint, in 1980's hues,
1 boot-mounted bike rack that fits neither the boot nor the bicycle
and
2,174 other equally fascinating and potentially invaluable objects.
Not to mention a squirrel's nest - the squirrel would prefer to remain anonymous -
so I haven't mentioned him. Shhh!
I must add, you can't drive into the garage
because a wall has been built at the wrong angle
blocking one door and a neighbour parks his Mini
far too close to the other door.
… Also, the garage is not in Fulham.
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