Friday, 28 March 2025

All About the Dogs - my latest short story

 (set on't Yorkshire Moors, with a hint of Royston Vasey)

Eight years being the time since my partner, Geoffrey, vanished, I’ve decided to have him declared dead. I’m told you can do it, as nobody’s heard from him for more than seven years.

Three weeks after his vanishing, I’d been to police and reported him missing, because I were worried. I weren’t actually much worried about Geoffrey. I were more concerned for the dogs, all three being a bit under the weather after something they’d eaten up on the moor and I weren’t sure how much the vet’s bill would be.

Me and Geoffrey had chosen the three dogs for their wild looks. Mackeson's a brownish border collier crossed with god knows what, he's powerful jaws for a collie. Spitz is a big boy, looking like a huge, grey, shaggy bear with great long legs and a curling tail. Geoffrey said he could be a shih tzu great Dane cross, but I think he were joking. I always reckoned that would be physically impossible, Spitz must be something like a wolfhound and mountain dog cross. The third dog, Delilah, has massive black curls and fetches half the moorland home tangled in them. She's possibly a giant cockapoo, if you look at her through squinting eyes.

They were all rescues, of course, Spitz being the oldest. The vet reckons he’s now about eleven, which he says is a good age for such a large dog. The others were half-grown pups when we got them a year or so before Geoffrey's disappearance. We’d agreed Spitz needed company especially as we were both out working, he’d been a bit destructive, demolishing shoes, doors, two sofas and a stray cat, we’d found that half eaten in the front garden. Of course Geoffrey were soft on dogs, he insisted on blaming foxes. Some people might have believed him, but I knew who’d come in with cat’s tail in his mouth.

Geoffrey loved to walk with all three dogs on his free days. Summer or winter, they’d all ramble for miles on the moors and if we were lucky, Geoffrey would come home with a few rabbits or game birds in his kitbag. Once he arrived with a lamb in the bag, he said Spitz had only spooked it and made it run, he wasn’t deliberately hunting it. Geoffrey was in denial.

Our stone house had been built for senior workers in near-by quarry. It were typical for Yorkshire, with a useful, high-ceilinged cellar and huge stone table in the centre for butchering meat. Geoffrey would often, when he drove back across moor, find carcases struck down by careless motorists. Hares, rabbits and pheasants were quite common, deer were a good find and obviously sheep killed by a truck were no value to the farmer.

Geoffrey would skin them, slice the carcass into useable chunks and fill the big chest freezer in the corner. He’d worked in tannery before he moved here for his new job as quarry manager, so he knew what to do with hides. We had some nice sheepskin rugs about the house, it was lovely to sink my toes into soft fleece when I got out of bed on a cold winter morning. I’d also made several winter hats with rabbit skin, very cosy and I had deerskin mittens. We were lucky that new quarry manager didn’t want the house so we were allowed to stay, just me and the dogs. I’d never be able to get that freezer out.

When Geoffrey fell down cellar steps he broke his neck and smashed his face in on the stone floor. I didn’t know what to do for the best. Ambulances never come up here, quarry accident victims got picked up by air ambulance and I didn’t want that. All the noise would really get the dogs riled up. I went up and down the steps a few times to look at him, being careful not to fall, although I would have landed on Geoffrey, he'd have made for a soft landing. Geoffrey were a big lad, maybe twenty-five or thirty stone of him, so he fell so hard. I patted his head, he didn’t move but he made a gurgling noise, that were revolting. I left him until next morning.

That were when I discovered I’d also left cellar door open. Spitz were down there, chewing on Geoffrey's face. I told him he were a bad boy and shut him outside, but he gave me an idea. Geoffrey were too heavy for me to move, but he'd showed me how to butcher a carcase. I filled the freezer and burnt the less good bits, and his clothes except for shoes, made good dog chews.

I suppose I kept him too long, but I was careful, varied their diet so it took the dogs a good while to get through all that fatty meat. It didn’t feel wrong, Geoffrey had loved his dogs so I knew he’d be happy for them. But meat frozen for eight years obviously didn’t agree with their elderly doggie stomachs, specially poor old Spitz. 

I never actually tried any, I like lamb.

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